Socks : Mini OCDism

Socks. I bought some once. To make them stand out from the hundreds or corporate black socks that already littered the house I got some with colour co-ordinated toes and heels. Very clever I thought, but I didn't realise just how much this sock thing would bubble up a mini OCD which I had to counter with a counter OCD.

You see, the socks I got had the days of the week on them and I had this nagging feeling that wearing, for example, Tuesday socks on any other day but a Tuesday would bring about the total destruction of the world. It got so bad I started worrying that if the Tuesday socks were not in the sock drawer on Tuesday I would be stuck with a dilemma, either hunt them down in the laundry basket and wear them dirty (not an option) or bring about Armageddon (also not an option).

So I did the only thing a bloke could do, I bought more socks and saved the world. By this stage I had so many of the things it would take me half an hour to find the Tuesday pair on a Tuesday. But then I noticed some were pretty darn bobbled in a worn too much kind of bobbly way, this obviously meant that some of the Tuesday socks were being used more than others as I now had six Tuesday socks, three right foot, three left foot, and so on with the rest of the week. This took the sock choosing time up to an unacceptable level and the mini OCD had to be exterminated with extreme prejudice.

So not to do things by halves I decided to go polar opposites, no more pairing of socks just shove them in the drawer and pull out two at random. The World didn't end and I have a more relaxed Karma like experience to footwear.

The Bribery Act 2010 : Does this include virtual lollipops?

The Bribery Act 2010 (c.23) is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom that covers the criminal law relating to bribery. Sections 1 to 5 of the Act cover "general bribery offences". The crime of bribery is described in Section 1 as occurring when a person offers, gives or promises to give a "financial or other advantage" to another individual in exchange for "improperly" performing a "relevant function or activity". 

We should be safe here kids as There Is No Lollipop and I imagine none of you are improper, although I feel I may be on dodgy ground with the last point. Please like, share and retweet my blog, I'm weak and need the adoration. I promise to send you your own personalised Lolipop Award if you Facebook Message me :)

Facebook message me at my Facebook page.

Given the gravity of the situation I concluded that writing in bold was A Sensible Thing To Do.

The Male Brain

It's true. Backing it up with pseudo mathematical mumbojumbo just makes it even truerer. 

And yes, that is a word because it is.

The Washing Machine : A dark art

Ahhhh.... the dark magic that is The Washing Machine. It has been statistically proven* that the male of our species is incapable of fathoming out how to operate The Washing Machine, even though the building of a PC from component parts and a complete install of 64 bit Windows 7 is as easy as falling off a bike.

But does it matter? Is it important? Well 95% of the 22 million households in the UK currently possess a washing machine, that's 20.9 million. The female population of the UK is 30 million making a ratio of 1.4 to 1. Logic therefore suggests that the male is redundant in these circumstances. 

*cough*

However recent experience has in fact proved the opposite as gardening leave can be a wonderful thing. After 10 weeks I can safely say I have mastered the dark art of The Washing Machine. I feel like Neo in Matrix as I utter the immortal words "I know Washing Machine", although I still believe there is a spoon. What remains to be seen is whether this knowledge, this 'dark art' can be retained in the mind of a mere Man..........

*may not actually be true

Every Child is Good

I am a firm believer that every child is good and every child follows their heart in all honesty. Sometimes.......

15 Hour Ebay Angst : A story of love and hate

Ebay, how I love you and hate you in equal measure. Now I know a bargain when I see one and I also know knockoff like I know my own son. You don't spend every Sunday at Newcastle Quayside market for years without getting a feel for the merchandise. 

That's the dilemma isn't it. 

Ebay makes it easy to buy all that stuff you would normally avoid once you clapped eyes on it. Because you don't clap eyes on it. I bet Knockoff Norman would be a rich man if he were alive today, wouldn't you Norman? But you're not. And that's probably a good thing. Oh, and by the way that water damaged wall clock you sold me for two quid lasted all of 3 hours.

Remember to separate the darks from the whites.

Somehow, letting your mind wander and ramble in the fields of popular sci-fi culture makes those domestic chores just a little less mundane. And remember, only hatred can destroy me......

Boys in Cars

Boys. Don't you love em, adorable chocolate box bundles of loveliness. Yeah riiight..... I spent at least 4 hours of the week on the M62 from the ages of 4 to 10. This was one of those special moments, and yep it happened. Smelly horrible little monsters.......

Fun with Telesales (Part 1)

I see this as brightening up some-ones day.

Sums

It always takes me by surprise, but I have no sense of scale when it comes to time. What seems like a five minute job isn't. Anyway 3,673 tracks is an awful lot of "7 seconds"

Nothing More Than Feelings

Reality V Childhood

Dentists : Good or Evil